Merriam-Webster gives the following definition for cycle:
cycle (n): a set of events or actions that happen again and again in the same order : a repeating series of events or actions
That is exactly what happens in Bipolar Disorder. Cycles.
Sometimes they aren’t so bad. The upswings, I mean. I tend to a get a lot of stuff done both at home and at work. However, I don’t sleep, I’m irritable, I eat everything, fly into rages, and make stupid decisions. The downswings are a welcome change, except when they make me not want to get out of bed, mess up my sleep, and make me feel constantly exhausted and down.
I have yet to find a happy medium. I definitely notice a difference on a mood stabilizer – first it was Depakote, and now Abilify. My psychiatrist took me off the Depakote once he found out hubby and I wanted to get pregnant (well…I’d be the pregnant one but you know what I mean) since the birth defects can be so bad.
I think I could best be described as “normal” on a mood stabilizer. I get ups and downs like every other person in the world but they’re not as severe. I can almost function like a responsible adult.
Off it, watch out. I am one crazy B. Mood swings, crying, horrible depression.
All of that due to brain chemicals. Who would have thought.
My eating depends on my mood. Some days I’m great; others, not so much. There are days that I can just eat myself through a few drive thrus…other days I don’t wanna eat at all.
I just wish that I could be consistent.
How do you remain consistent in the face of temptations?